Perverted Tales
by Nanome
Summary: Every Apprentice tries to be like their Master. But Naruto did his best to never become a pervert like Jiraiya. Sadly, some things are meant to be. And a year into the training trip, Jiraiya has successfully corrupted his last apprentice. But even Jiraiya couldn't have expected that the student would surpass the master. In every way. Strong! Sage! Naruto.
1. Enlightenment

The clouds sailing at the tips of the mountains surrounding the Kumo Village obscured the forms of two people.

One was an infamous sage, known all across elemental nations for his exploits – both good and bad – and the other was a blond-haired kid, who would become just as famous as his master. Jiraiya, the toad sage and Naruto Uzumaki, his apprentice.

"Are we there yet, Ero-sennin?"

Now Jiraiya was contemplating if bringing this whiny brat along with him was really worth the trouble. "Yes, gaki, we are there. Now stop yelling before Kumo ninja find us."

"This is so boring..." Naruto sighed as he crossed his hands behind his head. He was rather excited when Jiraiya told him that they were visiting another ninja village but it had been a week already and there ain't a soul in sight.

"Life is all about patience, kid," Jiraiya said wisely.

Naruto scoffed. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Not a moment after he spoke the words, a valley appeared before them but what caught his attention were the sounds of bustling activity. He ran forward before Jiraiya could stop him and a gasp escaped his mouth when a captivating sight greeted him.

Surrounded by the humongous mountains and clouds was a vast village, with a large blue dome-like structure situated right in the middle of it. Unlike Konoha, which was a vast plain land surrounded by forests, Kumo had houses situated right on top of mountains. The clouds acted as a natural barrier to hide the village but it wasn't tough to spot it. Another village that failed to live up to its name of 'hidden' village.

Naruto noticed that there seemed to be more ninja than civilians in the village, and most people seemed strict and orthodox; another major contrast from Konoha. The people here wore formfitting grayish-white clothes and had dark skin tones.

"We'll get some cheap hotel to stay," Jiraiya informed as they walked along the edges of the village to evade patrols. "I'll probably return by night, so don't cause any trouble."

"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted in anger, alerting the birds resting in the trees and making they fly away. "You're leaving me alone in another village?"

"Hush!" Jiraiya bopped him on the head in admonishment. "You'll get us caught! And I can't take you with me. It's …spy work. Sensitive information and all, gaki."

"You're gonna go peep on women again," Naruto deadpanned, resigning himself to another boring stay in some crappy room. "I don't understand what's so great about it."

"Hey! Don't diss the ways of the super pervert," Jiraiya bopped him on the head again, making Naruto grit his teeth in annoyance. "Kids like you can never understand."

True to form, Jiraiya was trying to impart his worldly wisdom to Naruto from the moment they left Konoha. But it had been a year and yet, Naruto seemed immune to all his master's attempts to turn him into a pervert. Jiraiya had finally given up hope.

"I'm not a kid!" He was fourteen and proud of it.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Jiraiya shot back his words at him, with a smug smile on his face.

* * *

Naruto stewed in silent rage as they found a hotel and settled in the room. Jiraiya ruffled his hair, giving a parting shot about how kids should stay in their rooms and play with toys. "Stupid Ero-sennin and stupid women," he muttered darkly to himself.

He tried to sleep for a few minutes, rolling over restlessly but his body was still as active as the wind. He sat up in resignation and looked around to find anything of interest but the room had nothing but a bed and a chair. Damn. He racked up his brain for something but in a moment of absolute brilliance, a thought struck his mind. Something he would've never thought on any sane day.

'How about I see what's so great about the women in those hot springs?'

He couldn't roam around the village because he was a ninja of Konoha, so he might as well try to be stealthy and see what's the thing about hot springs that kept all perverts hooked.

It didn't take him long to find one – it's just a small distance away from the hotel. Smooth, Ero-sennin – and after finding a tree that stood over the hot springs, he climbed it and sat on a branch. Ero-sennin was nowhere in sight and for a moment, Naruto wondered if Jiraiya really was busy with his work as a spy. Pfft, as if.

He could see women moving in and out of the entrance and some of them really were beautiful. Steeling his nerves, he shifted his gaze to the bath, where groups of almost-naked women were chatting among themselves as they bathed.

His eyes roamed all over the pool, resting on women who were brave enough to step out of the water without their towel, showing their naked bodies. It was without a doubt a captivating sight, especially for a teenage boy like him. A few even captured his complete attention, a kunoichi with breasts almost as large as Tsunade's and another with curves that any woman would kill for. He wouldn't be forgetting that ass for a long time. But it evoked no feelings of lust from him. It was more out of curiosity than insatiable lust.

This wasn't enough for him to become a shameless pervert and waste his time on peeping. He was just about to leave when a white-haired woman entered the bath. He didn't know why but he couldn't take his eyes off her scantily towel-clad form. Her skin was rich, chocolate-toned and her breasts were full, not too large and definitely not small. She had an hourglass figure, with wide hips and an ass that swayed with every step she took. She had a no-nonsense expression on her face but it suited her for some reason and her white, chin-length hair framed her heart-shaped face.

'God, she's beautiful,' was the first thought that crossed his mind.

His eyes followed her every movement as she dipped into the hot water and removed her towel. But to his disappointment, he could only see her cleavage from his vantage point.

'Life is all about patience,' a voice that sounded suspiciously like Jiraiya echoed in his mind.

So, wait he did. The woman made small talk with others, but he noticed that she liked to rest in her own little corner. She seemed to be quite famous, as every woman in the pool recognized her. She moved away from others to a quiet area and started rinsing her hair and body.

A small trail of blood leaked from his nose when the voluptuous woman stretched her arms, making her breasts jiggle and pop out of the water. He watched entranced as she leaned back, displaying her firm, chocolate-colored breasts to his greedy eyes. Her nipples were dark as the night, standing proud like pebbles on a beach. It only lasted a moment before she sunk back into the pool.

Naruto released a breath he didn't know he was holding. What was that? His whole body was on fire and his heart was hammering in his chest. His pants felt incredibly tight and there was something trying to poke its way out of his underwear. He knew what it was. His thoughts felt muddled up and he couldn't just get her image off his mind. He wanted more.

He leaned forward again, hoping to get a better view but she was once again submerged in the water, hiding her divine body from view. He passed time by checking out other women, seeing if anyone could produce the same reaction out of him. This time there was a feeling, something that he was lacking a few minutes ago. Everything Ero-sennin had ever said about women came back to him. It was like he was watching all these naked women in a new light. There were moments that made his erection throb, like when one kunoichi thought it was a good idea to bend over to get her towel, giving him a clear view of her delectable backside or when another kunoichi massaged her body rather sensually, filling his brain with impure thoughts.

But none came close to the sheer euphoria that engulfed him when he saw 'the woman'. He never knew that all it needed was a single woman to evoke these feelings of lust within him. Did the same happen with Jiraiya? Did he become a pervert after watching Tsunade naked for the first time? For all Naruto knew, Jiraiya might be a shameless pervert from the moment he reached puberty. But that wasn't what's important for him now. There was a woman and he _needed_ to know her name.

Thirty minutes later, the white-haired woman finished with her bath and suddenly stood up, with not even a strip of cloth on her body. Never in his life did he wish that he could be a drop of water. But now he did. Her goddess like form was covered in little droplets of water, that slid down her chocolate skin to land into the hot springs. She had delicate arms, long legs, and a kissable neck. Her breasts didn't even sag a little, resting snugly between her shoulder blades. For a kunoichi, she didn't even have a single scar on her flawless body.

'So she doesn't dye her hair,' Naruto thought as his eyes slid down her curvy navel to land on the sight between her thighs. Lying under a tuft of white hair was a pale pink slit, framed by brown labia on either side. Heat surged up his body and a dark red flush crept up his cheeks. His breathing quickened and his heart was trying to tear open a hole in his lungs.

His unusually large chakra reserves flared up at his heightened emotions and the woman's gaze shot up directly to his spot. He could swear his heart stopped that moment and only his instincts saved him from female wrath. He poured massive amounts of chakra into a shunshin and teleported to a place far away from the hot springs.

Only when he reached his room did he start breathing like a normal human. He couldn't sleep the whole night and even when he closed his eyes, he could only think of the white-haired woman. The woman that managed to turn him into a pervert when not even the self-proclaimed super pervert could.

* * *

"I need chakra control exercises," Naruto demanded the next morning.

Jiraiya, who was drawing a complex seal on a meter length scroll, looked up from his work to stare at Naruto with an indifferent look in his eyes; The lazy pervert.

"Why?" was Jiraiya's only question.

'So that I won't get caught again when peeping,' was the actual answer but he'd rather die before he'd admit that.

"Because I suck at control," Naruto answered with a straight face.

Jiraiya gave a non-committal hum before throwing a scroll at him. "Study that. My contact is out of town, so we'll stay here for a few more days til he returns."

Naruto let out a smile at that fact and Jiraiya chalked it up to him being happy that he got a new scroll. More time in this village would mean more time to check out the hot springs. He might find that white-haired woman again. He couldn't wait to see her.

She didn't come to the hot springs that day. Or the next week. He spent the time by peeping on other women, training and feeling depressed that he couldn't find her again. He turned his peeping activity into a stealth exercise, where he'd try to hide in different easily noticeable places without getting caught.

On the ninth day, he was too tired after an entire night of chakra control exercises, so, he sent a clone in his place. So that it could come back and inform him if it saw her. Just as a precaution, he transformed it too look like Jiraiya.

The clone got caught by other women.

He knew he was jinxing it when he made it look like Jiraiya. But damn, those women were vicious; Especially brunette with the flat chest. Thank god, shadow clones only lasted a single hit.

Wait a minute. 'How did I know who hit my clone?'

He formed another clone and sent it into the bathroom to write something on the tissue paper before dispelling itself. A slew of information reached his mind the second the clone went poof; He could see everything the clone did; from the moment it was created to the moment it dispelled itself. Apparently, it wrote 'My boss is stupid.' Damn clones with attitude problems.

The possibilities were endless. Training, reading, peeping...you name it. Oh, this was brilliant. He had one of the most powerful tools in his arsenal and he didn't even know about it! The entire elemental nations felt a shiver go down their spine when Naruto cackled in glee.

He made three clones - focusing especially on their appearance and stealth. You could never be too careful in a shinobi village like Kumo - and transformed them to look like random individuals. Once everything was ready, he sent them on a village wide manhunt to find the white-haired woman. One hour later, a clone that was wandering near Raikage's office dispelled, sending him the information it gathered.

So her name was Mabui. The Raikage's Assistant. She was one of the elite jonin of Kumo, with an impeccable mission record. She was punctual, hated wasting time and had little interest in dating.

Naruto threw his head back in despair. There's no way a jonin like her would even look twice at his deplorable, genin self. That night, just before going to bed, he cornered Jiraiya. "I want to get stronger, Ero-sennin."

"Of course, gaki," Jiraiya frowned at the rare look of seriosuness on Naruto's face. "That's why we're here on this training trip. Once you learn how to control Kyuubi's chakra..."

"No, not Kyuubi's chakra," Naruto interrupted with a shake of his head. "I want to be as strong as a jonin, no, stronger than a jonin. Even without Kyuubi's chakra."

"That's not easy," Jiraiya sighed before deciding to be frank. "Even impossible at the rate we're going."

"Come on, Ero-sennin!" Naruto threw his hands up in frustration. "There's got to be some way. I'll do anything it takes!"

"Why?" Jiraiya asked, sounding nothing like his usual joking self. For a moment, Naruto could understand why people respected Jiraiya; the man had a presence that few people could brush off.

Naruto hesitated. Was it wise to admit about his little crush to Jiraiya? "It's for a woman," he mumbled inaudibly.

"What?" Jiraiya scowled, with a look of irritation on his face. "I can't hear you brat."

"It's for a woman, alright!" Naruto shouted. "As I am right now, I don't think I even have the right to look at her."

Jiraiya stayed silent for a few minutes, making Naruto fidget in apprehension. What Naruto didn't know was that Jiraiya could see himself in his apprentice. He was the same when he tried to ask Tsunade out. She and Orochimaru were already hailed as prodigies while he was the dead last of the class. He felt that he didn't deserve her as he was, so, he trained like hell. So that one day, he could ask her out, with the confidence that he could protect her if it came to it.

"You know what, kid?" Jiraiya had a mile wide grin on his face. "You'll be famous by the time I'm done with you."

* * *

The wind that flew across Konoha carried a perverted giggle along with it.

Tsunade was doing her paperwork, a rare event in itself when her ears picked up this giggle and her head shot up in surprise. It might just be a premonition, but she was sure that she would get two interesting visitors today. After all, it had been three years since her favorite blond brat had left the village for training under Jiraiya and they would be arriving any day now.

Overlooking the vast village was a mountain with four faces carved intricately onto it. On any normal day, one would find it deserted but today, a lone individual was standing upon the Fourth Hokage's face. A long green robe enveloped his body, leaving only his tanned face visible but anybody in Konoha could recognize the teen from the three whiskers marks on his cheeks. His long, sun-kissed blond hair fell down to his eyes, with two bangs framing his face. He stood at a height of five feet and nine inches, with a burnt red kimono shirt and black ANBU pants under the robe. What's surprising was that he bore a remarkable resemblance to the fourth Hokage of Konoha.

He was Naruto Uzumaki, the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi and a Sage in training.

A small smile graced his face as he took in the magnificent sight and, taking a deep breath, he disappeared in a shunshin. He reappeared right outside the window of the Hokage's office, with his robe fluttering in the wind. Sliding open the window, he sat down on the ledge unceremoniously.

"Jiraiya," Tsunade sighed as she rubbed her temples. "How many times did I tell you to use the door..."

She paused mid-way when bright blond hair greeted her eyes instead of long, white hair. "N-Naruto?"

"You know any other insanely hot blond guys?" Naruto spread out his arms, with a huge grin on his face. "Of course it's Naruto!"

Tsunade instantly noticed that there was something different about his grin now. It seemed lighter like he was genuinely happy with life and not just faking happiness to fool other people. It made him look more mature...and dare she say, handsome. And what's with the greeting?

Tsunade jerked back in surprise as he jumped from the window to land in front on her and swept her off her feet in a tight hug. "W-what are you doing brat?! Put me down!"

"It's good to see you too, Baa-chan!" Naruto ended the hug and put her down on her feet. He took a step back and roamed his eyes up and down her frame, his eyes lingering on her large breasts and wide hips. Tsunade was too busy gathering herself to pay attention to his gaze. "My god, Tsunade! You're getting younger each day."

Tsunade blinked. Now, this was officially getting weird. Jiraiya mentioned in his letters that Naruto changed in a lot of unexpected ways but this was not what she had in mind when she thought about it. She tried to sum it up in few words… "You're different."

A smirk played on his lips as he sat down in his chair. "What can I say? I learned how to appreciate beauty."

It didn't help that his blue eyes were devouring her as he spoke. A flush crept up Tsunade's pale cheeks, turning them into a lovely shade of red. Now she was itching to know what changed the naive blond kid into this flirting, confident young man. "Where's Jiraiya?"

"Got tired of me already?" Naruto faked a pout, with a hand over his heart. One look from Tsunade made him cut the act. He knew that it was creepy to flirt with a fifty-year-old woman but Tsunade looked cute as hell with that blush. Definitely worth the beating he was going to get later. "That pervert's probably peeping on girls at the hot springs."

"Stop trying to get me in trouble, Naruto," Jiraiya deadpanned as he appeared on the window ledge. "And where the hell did you disappear on the way to Tsunade's office?"

"I thought I saw someone I knew," Naruto explained innocently but Jiraiya could smell the bullshit from a mile away.

"Could've fooled me," Jiraiya shot back.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to imply something, Ero-sennin?"

"Yes, I -"

Before Jiraiya could say anything that would've started another fight between the master and apprentice, Shizune entered the room along with Sakura. "Tsunade-sama, I have the mission reports...Naruto!"

"Shizune-chan!" Naruto shot up from his chair and stopped an inch away from the black-haired woman. "Wow! They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I can see it now, Shizune-chan. There's not a day I haven't thought of you and you've only grown more beautiful in my absence."

Sakura could only stare open-mouthed in surprise as Naruto caressed Shizune's cheek with his hand, with a fond look in his eyes. Shizune had a massive blush on her face, while she looked at Tsunade for some explanation. Naruto had a crush on her? This was way too confusing for a Monday morning.

"I am sorry for not realizing how beautiful were before, Shizune," Naruto sighed in sadness before a gleam entered his eyes. "But I'll make it up to you."

With that promise, Naruto left a flustered Shizune to glance at his pink-haired teammate. He gazed up and down her frame, with a frown marring his face.

"Sakura..." Sakura's head shot up at her name, already expecting a dozen compliments from her surprisingly smooth talking teammate. If he had so much to say about Shizune, the woman he previously considered as his sister, surely he would go overboard with his crush. "You look the same as ever."

Everyone in the room, including the four ANBU hidden in the corners, face-faulted.

Sakura had righteous flames of hell burning in her eyes and with a yell, she slammed her fist onto his head. Only for him to disappear in a poof of smoke. "Wh-what? It's a shadow clone!"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at Jiraiya. "Where is that brat?"

Jiraiya palmed his face in exasperation. "I don't know. My best guess is the hot springs."

"Wh-what? H-hot springs?" Jiraiya tried his best not to meet Tsunade's gaze. He could only find dangerous things there. Dangerous for him, especially. "Jiraiya, tell me everything."

* * *

At the local hot springs, a blond haired teen looked up from his vantage point as the memories of his clone reached him. He reluctantly took his eyes of the purple haired kunoichi he was peeping on and looked through the experiences of his clone.

"Ah, Shizune's so cute when she's flustered," Naruto thought with a smile before it disappeared at thought of his teammate. "And Sakura's as impulsive as ever."

He was about to go back to staring at the purple haired goddess again when a poof of smoke appeared in front of him and a greenish blue colored toad appeared before him. "Naruto-nii! Pervy master is calling for you."

"Hush, Gamachin! You'll give my location away!"

It was too late. "Naruto-nii! You're peeping again?!" Gamachin gasped in horror. "I'm gonna tell Ma! Bad Naruto-nii!"

"No! Of course, I am not peeping, Gamachin," Naruto placated the toad but it still looked disbelieving. "I was just waiting for someone I know to come out."

The toad thought about the credibility of the statement for a few minutes before deciding that it would be amusing to see Naruto getting smacked around by Ma and Pa again. "Nah, I am still telling Ma."

"Wa-wait...you traitor! You're never getting any candy from me again!"

The toad disappeared, leaving a dejected Naruto. "Dammit! Ma's going to smack me to death again."

"Did you hear that?" One of the kunoichis in the hot springs looked around in suspicion. "Someone's outside!"

A dozen towel-clad women ran outside with every weapon they could find, only to find a little fourteen-year-old blond girl looking through the hole. "What are you doing, girl?"

The cute blond girl looked around in fear and tried to shrink into herself. "U-um, I-I've never been t-to the hot s-springs. I-I was j-just seeing how it is. Promise!"

Only then did the kunoichi notice the state of the girl. Her clothes looked more like rags and clung to her thin body and she had dirt covering her cheeks. Her large blue eyes were watering in fear and she was fidgeting like a little lamb. They instantly regretted their actions. "It's fine...um, what's your name?"

"I am N-Natsumi!" the girl answered cheerfully.

The cold hearts of the females melted at the sheer cuteness. One of the Kunoichi, a woman with brown hair and purple markings on her cheeks, approached her slowly and knelt before her. "Natsumi-chan, do you want to come in? I'll pay."

"Really?" Natsumi shouted in glee. "Okay, Onee-chan!"

No one noticed the look of triumph in Natsumi's blue eyes as she walked behind them. Naruto decided when he first started peeping that he would never run away if he ever got caught. It's a way to remind himself to improve his stealth and come up with new ingenious ways to escape the female wrath. If he couldn't...well he couldn't really say he didn't deserve it.

He'd normally transform himself into Jiraiya or some random person if he got caught so that he wouldn't get a bad reputation among kunoichi. He still had a long life to live and he wanted to have a family someday. A bad reputation was the best way to kiss goodbye to those dreams.

On days like this, when he was feeling particularly perverted, he'd pull acts like these. And he had the best transformation technique that could fool even Kage level ninja.

Natsumi was being smothered by women from all sides as she bathed in the hot springs. The purple-haired kunoichi, Yugao if he remembered correctly, gave her a suspicious look but didn't spare her another glance. But the kunoichi that paid for her was being particularly concerned about her. "Do you want me to rub your back, Onee-chan?"

"Sure, Natsumi-chan," the kunoichi smiled as Natsumi carefully rubbed her hands all over her back. "You're such a sweet girl."

"Thanks...um, what's your name Onee-chan?" Natsumi hands seemed to stray dangerously close to 'Onee-chan's' breasts as she spoke.

"I'm Hana. Hana Inuzuka."

Natsumi's hands froze midway. Oh god, he was feeling up Kiba's sister. Naruto was sure that he was violating some important rule of the bro code. Well, he's too into it to stop now anyway. Hana's pale-skinned, perky breasts with light pink nipples seemed like they were made to fit in his hands. Muttering a quick apology to Kiba in his mind, Naruto led his hands to lightly massage Hana's breasts. Not too light to seem like Natsumi was shy and not too hard to make her seem like a pervert.

Once he was satisfied, he slowly slid his hands down to her hips and then to her thighs. After two years, he was experienced enough to not go crazy every time he touched a girl intimately. But Hana was already breathing heavily and was looking hot with her half-lidded eyes and slightly open lips.

Just as Naruto was about to snatch the treasure, Tsunade walked into the hot springs and to Naruto's fright, her eyes zoomed directly to Natsumi's. From the look in her eyes, Naruto would be lucky if he made it out alive once Tsunade got her hands on him.

"Um, Onee-chan, I-I have to go now. Thanks for paying!" Natsumi gave a cute smile before bolting out of the hot springs.

"Hey!" Hana called out but Natsumi had already disappeared. "That was weird."

* * *

Naruto transformed back to himself as Tsunade approached him. "Hey, Baa-chan! You came to take a bath too?"

"Stop it, Naruto. I am disappointed in you," Tsunade huffed as she crossed her arms over her sizable bust. "I never thought you'd turn into a pervert."

"Even I never did," Naruto answered truthfully. "But some women...their beauty is addicting."

"That Kumo girl?" Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"I was talking about you actually," Naruto said with a wink and laughed as Tsunade spluttered in embarrassment. "Oh, look at you. Acting so cute even after all these years."

"I am going to kill you, brat!"

"No, you love me too much for that, Baa-chan," Naruto seemed just as relaxed even with the threats of dismemberment. "But look, this way you're going to get lots and lots of grandchildren before you kick the bucket."

Tsunade gaped at him for a few seconds, with her mind still trying to imagine the hyperactive kid in his place. She took a deep breath before sighing in resignation. "I'm never taking my eyes off you again, brat. Jiraiya's going to die for corrupting my innocent little Naruto."

"Tch, tch. I am not corrupted, Baa-chan," Naruto placed a light kiss on Tsunade's forehead, in an imitation of how she kissed him when they first met. " _I am enlightened._ "

* * *

 **Author's Note: Miss me?**

 **This was one of the ideas that were running through my mind for a long time. How was the execution? I added more dialogue, as simple romance doesn't suffice when there are so many girls. It needs a good plot and I hope I provided it. Obviously, this is a Harem.**

 **For those wondering and patiently waiting for an update, I'll post the next chapter of 'You're doing it wrong, Kaa-chan' by Saturday. Thank you for your patience.**

 **I love opinions for some reason. Maybe because they are interesting and makes you wonder. Sometimes you readers find things that even I miss. So, Don't Forget to Review.**


	2. Truth Is A Joke

**Important Author's Note: This is the revamped version of chapter 2. There are few scenes that I haven't executed right so I hope I've done it right with this one. The only similarity between this and the previous one is the opening scene. I'd probably remove the previous one in a few hours but if you like the previous one more than this, mention it in the reviews.**

 **I dub this chapter as 'The one where Naruto is NOT JOKING.'**

* * *

Perversion is an art that few people know of and even fewer indulge in it.

But Naruto was a perfectionist, or so he believed. Whenever he put his mind to something, he would go to the ends of the world to master it. Be it Ninjutsu or Fuuinjutsu or...perversion. Perversion required a delicate touch, with glimpses of intimacy and lots of passion. Women were complicated like that. Especially teenage girls who crossed puberty and were entering into the adventurous waters of adulthood.

Luckily for Naruto, Ami was one of those girls who _really_ liked the adventure part.

"Ooooh, Naruto-kun~" Ami moaned as Naruto kissed a sensitive spot on her neck. She arched her back as his hands ventured down to her ass and gave it a tight squeeze. "You're...ah, not so hard...so good."

Ami was one of those queen bee type of girls at the academy; she even had a tough rivalry going on with Ino. Coming from a family of rich merchants, she had enough influence to make anybody's life living hell; Which she occasionally did. And Naruto loved playing with these kind of girls. To make them come down from their high thrones and beg for his touch. She was fair skinned, with radiant purple hair and dull, brown eyes. Her fist sized breasts were irresistible to bite and she had a cute, little ass.

"I aim to please," Naruto whispered as he turned her around and clutched her waist in his arms. Her back hit his muscular chest and she craned her neck to steal a kiss from him. He thrust his erection into her ass crack, eliciting a loud moan out of her.

To Ami's disappointment, he was still wearing pants for some reason. She was waiting for him to drill her from behind with his huge cock but he insisted on being a tease; She thought that it's usually the other way round. "Take off those pants."

"Patience, Ami," Naruto slid his hands down from her waist and plunged a finger into her wet womanhood. "I want your first time to be really _special_."

"Oh, fuck...God," Ami's eyes rolled back into her head as he slowly moved his finger, touching spots that she didn't even know existed. "Fuck patience. I want your cock now!"

He grabbed her wrists in his left hand and held them behind her back. Before she could complain, he added another finger and increased the speed of his thrusts. Complete control. That was what he expected every time he slept with a woman. There were some fiery spirited, dominant woman but it wasn't long before they became stuttering messes in his hands. Technique was vital, he learned not long after his first sexual experience. For a stern woman, Mabui was a goddess in bed.

He nipped at her ear lobe, biting a particular spot beneath her ear that was sensitive to most people. Ami shivered in his arms and bit her lips as she could feel the pleasure hitting a crescendo. Naruto could feel it too and he pushed his erection hard into her ass crack again, making her yell as wave of euphoria hit her.

She shuddered in his arms for a full minute in post orgasmic bliss, gushing juices all over her legs and the carpet. A light sheen of sweat coated her body, making her look even more appealing. He released his hold on her wrists and unzipped his pants. He pushed her onto the couch and Ami, who was lost in a world of her own, couldn't even protest at the rough treatment.

He parted her legs and hovered above her glistening womanhood. Her pink folds were coated in her juices, looking exceptionally inviting to his eyes. He took a whiff of her scent and plunged his tongue into her pussy, evoking a loud cry from her.

That was the sight the purple-haired ANBU walked into when she entered Naruto's apartment. She waited for a minute, more out of professional curiosity than desire. Or so she'd say if anybody ever asked her. The boy was really good at what he was doing, at least that was what the girl he was eating out was shouting. "Um, Naruto-san?"

Naruto was busy exploring the tasty treat before him with his tongue, so he could be excused for not hearing her. Yugao waited for another minute, intrigued by the idea of using the tongue in such _innovative_ ways. "Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto shot up in surprise at the shot and looked around in panic. Did Ami's mother finally find out where her little angel had disappeared off to? His eyes finally landed on the purple haired ANBU standing in the middle of his waiting room.

"Wait! This is not what it looks like!" Naruto shouted out of habit. Yugao deadpanned as she stared at the girl lying on the couch. She was gasping for air, clutching at his sheets and her womanhood was dripping like a leaky faucet. Naruto sighed. "Who am I kidding? This is exactly what it looks like."

"Hokage-sama is requesting your presence," Yugao explained in her usual monotone. "As soon as possible."

"Of course she does," Naruto grumbled as he zipped up his pants again. "I told Jiraiya that we should wait another year before coming to Konoha. This whole village is filled with cock-blockers."

Thankfully, Yugao took no offense at the comment and disappeared in a shunshin. Naruto grabbed a light pink shirt out of the closet and wore it, just to irritate the stuck up pricks at the Hokage's office. Ami meanwhile was looking visibly disappointed as she buttoned up her skirt. "Wait for me, Ami-chan...on second thought, don't wait for me. I'll see you at your house."

"But you don't know where I live," Ami pointed out with suspicion. He wasn't thinking of ditching her, was he?

"I am a ninja, Ami," Naruto stated with a dry look. He gave her a wave before disappearing into thin air.

"Wow," Ami stared at the spot Naruto was previously at. "When did Naruto become so cool?"

* * *

Naruto appeared right outside the window of Hokage's office as usual, only to find Jiraiya already sitting on the window ledge. "Hey, Ero-sennin."

"Good going, gaki," Jiraiya wriggled his eyebrows in a knowing manner. "A day in the village and already bringing girls to the apartment."

"You're not peeping on me, are you?" Naruto gave a scandalized look and had to restrain a shudder at that thought.

"No!" Jiraiya shivered as memories of what happened the last time he tried to peep on Naruto hit him. That girl Mabui had some painful lightning techniques. "Yugao-chan told us what happened when entered your apartment."

Naruto giggled perversely at the thought of his morning escapades. He could think of no better way to start one's morning. He climbed through the window and jumped into the office to find Tsunade talking to Yugao about some ANBU mission. At seeing him, Yugao blushed before composing herself.

"Sorry for interrupting you, Naruto-san," Yugao was proud of herself for speaking in her usual monotone. "Hokage-sama's orders."

"It's fine," Naruto waved her off before flashing her a lopsided smile. "But next time, don't be shy to join us."

Tsunade had never seen any of her elite ANBU fidget like Yugao did then. "Um, thank you?"

Yugao glanced at Tsunade with a pleading look, almost begging the Hokage to dismiss her. Tsunade had to restrain a smile at seeing how embarrassed she was. It was good seeing the cat-masked ANBU showing some emotion again. She had cut herself off from all human emotions after her boyfriend Hayate died. But it seemed like the old, fun-loving Yugao was still hiding underneath somewhere. "You can leave, Yugao."

Yugao gave a nod of respect before disappearing faster than a blink of an eye. Naruto chuckled as he sat down in the chair. "So, what did you call me for, Baa-chan?"

A paperweight flew at him instantly in retaliation but he caught it in mid-air. "You can't hit me now, Baa..."

A sake bottle hit him straight in the face and knocked him out of the chair before he could finish the sentence. He stood back up, with a red welt on his face, and waved the sake bottle in front of her face. "Keep your things to yourself, old hag!"

"You want a fight, brat?" Tsunade waved a fist in anger.

"You bet I do!"

"Stop fighting you two," Shizune chided as she entered the office. "Tsunade-sama, you should know better than this."

Naruto grinned triumphantly as Tsunade grumbled about 'stupid brats' and 'traitor apprentices'. "Shizune-chan. Just seeing you reminds me why I put up with this old hag."

Tsunade grit her teeth as Shizune blushed and averted her eyes at his words. "Don't let the little pervert sweet talk you, Shizune."

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune admonished her master as she caressed Naruto's hair soothingly.

"Don't mind her, Shizune-chan," Naruto said as he discreetly slipped a hand around her waist. "She's just jealous she's not as beautiful as you anymore."

Before Naruto could slip his hands a little lower, Sakura barged into the room with a frantic look in her eyes. Her eyes instantly zeroed onto Naruto and she pointed a quivering finger at him. "Naruto! Did you sleep with Ami?"

"Ami who?" Naruto furrowed his brows. He probably did but it never hurt to be sure.

"That purple haired bitch who used to bully me in the academy!" Sakura scowled as she remembered how miserable she was until Ino took her in. "Ino heard Ami boasting about it to her friends."

"No, I didn't sleep with her!" Naruto yelled in outrage and Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "I got interrupted before I could do that."

"Wh-what?...Wh-when?...H-how?" Sakura stuttered as she tried to take that in.

"Man, she's already spreading it around the village," Naruto threw his hands up in exasperation. "She needs a good spanking today night."

"Sp-spanking?" Sakura's face went red at that thought. "What do you mean 'today night'?"

"You know me, Sakura-chan," Naruto shrugged with an easy going smile on his face. "I can never leave a work unfinished."

Sakura stared open-mouthed in a daze before running out of the office in mortification. Naruto blinked after her before turning to face Tsunade with a frown on his face. "Was it something I said?"

"You are going to be the death of me someday, brat," Tsunade face-palmed. "But that's not what I called you here for. I want to see how strong you are."

"Hmm, I'd say...easily around Jonin level," Naruto answered with a resolute nod.

"I said 'see' not 'hear' brat," Tsunade retorted.

"Don't you trust Jiraiya, Baa-chan?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow in a challenging manner. "...or even me?"

Tsunade paused before sighing. "Of course I do Naruto."

"Then give me a chunin rank and be done with it," Naruto said like it was the most obvious thing. "We still have many spies like Kabuto in our ranks, Baa-chan. I don't want Akatsuki to know how strong I am before I even fight them."

"I know," Tsunade massaged her temples. She could feel an oncoming headache; Kami, she should have never accepted this position. "But the council will protest if I rank you chunin without any proof. I'd at least need the word of a Jonin."

Naruto thought for a few moments. "How about this? Genjutsu is still my weakest area but I can easily break out of any illusion. Even A-rank genjutsu techniques. I know a few c-rank genjutsu too."

"Good joke, brat," Tsunade barked in laughter. "As if you could ever cast a genjutsu."

"I am joking!" Naruto complained hotly but Tsunade was still disbelieving. "Is that a challenge, old hag?"

"You bet it is!" Tsunade stated smugly.

"You should know better than to bet with me, Baa-chan," Naruto smirked, already sure of victory. "What are the stakes?"

"If I win, you should do my paperwork for three months," Tsunade had to restrain a maniacal giggle at thought of finally escaping paperwork and resting with a good sake bottle in her hands. A woman can dream.

"And if I win?" Naruto was already thinking of all the perverted acts he could pull.

"You have my full permission to date Shizune," Tsunade proposed, evoking a bright grin out of Naruto.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune hid her flaming face behind her hands. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Hush, Shizune," Tsunade paid no heed to her apprentice's embarrassment. "As if the brat can win."

"Deal," Naruto shook hands with Tsunade.

"To test your resistance to genjutsu, I'll call in Kurenai," Tsunade informed with a thoughtful frown. "She's the best person for the job. And she can make sure you don't pull any tricks."

"You hurt me, Baa-chan. I don't need cheap tricks to win this bet," Naruto rose up from his chair. "I'll go find Kurenai-sensei."

* * *

Naruto searched all over Konoha for the beautiful red-eyed Jonin but it was like she knew he was searching for her and was trying to evade him. Yeah, that's probably not the reason. No woman could resist the thought of being in his presence. Admittedly, being humble was not one of his strong points.

He sat cross-legged on the Hokage mountain and took a whiff of fresh air. He closed his eyes, feeling the wind caressing his hair and embracing him in a loving hold. The amount of natural energy in Konoha didn't even come close what he experienced in Mt. Myoboku but it was still much better than most places in elemental nations. Might be because of the forests surrounding the village.

He slowly drew in the natural energy, carefully balancing the intake with the chakra in his tenketsu. A minute later, an orange pigment formed around his eyes. He had to do it fast, for he could only maintain it for five minutes. Jiraiya could stay in sage mode for much longer but his version was less refined than Naruto's. Jiraiya had once admitted that Naruto was kind of a prodigy at the sage arts. That was big praise, coming from the parsimonious pervert.

He scoured for Kurenai's unique signature but he couldn't sense her presence in the village. He extended his senses a little further and breathed a sigh of relief when he found her near the waterfall, which was situated a small distance away from the Konoha boundaries.

He dispelled his sage mode and disappeared in a shunshin, appearing in the clearing beside the waterfall. Normally it was dangerous to use shunshin for such long distances but he had chakra reserves that dwarfed nearly everyone in the elemental nations. Normal rules didn't apply in his case.

He moved forward silently, coming upon the magnificent sight of Kurenai bathing in the pond. He praised the Hentai gods and thanked them for their generosity. Suppressing his chakra to an extent that it would take a sensor to detect him, he hid in the bushes nearby the pond and discreetly rubbed the blood that leaked out from his nose.

Kurenai had a body that any man in his right mind would call 'perfect'. Her breasts were like twin moons, with two rose flower like buds on top. They weren't too small to ignore or too large that one couldn't take their gaze away from them. There were just right. Her child-bearing hips would be perfect to hold while having sex and her alluring ass was stuff from heavens. It curved like a mountain top, with a stuffed pillow-like feel but rigid enough to knead.

But it wasn't just her body that captivated him. Her luscious hair was dark as night and smoother than silk. And god, the eyes. Naruto always loved the color red for some reason and her ruby red eyes haunted his dreams for months. She had delicate pink lips, with just a touch of lip stick; And so kissable that he lost his mind every time he stared at them.

Naruto silently applauded the gods for making such a perfection. He loved watching beautiful women bath and women like Kurenai reminded him of why he became a pervert. To capture such unearthly beauty with his undeserving eyes. Oh, how he would love to lather her fair skin and massage her every curve.

Naruto lost control on his carefully restrained chakra as he saw her eyes again, revealing his presence to the genjutsu mistress. He expected nothing less from her. To become a genjutsu master, one must have complete grasp over the flow of chakra.

He came out of the bushes just as she turned to face him with a kunai in her hand. "Kurenai-sensei, fancy meeting you here."

"Naruto?" Kurenai had a cute frown on her face. "What are you doing here?"

Naruto knew that he should give her an answer but he was too busy staring at the wet, naked form of the goddess in front of him. The water droplets made her fair skin gleam like a ruby in the sun. From her long legs to the heart-shaped face, every single thing was beguiling.

Kurenai followed his gaze and looked down at her state of undress. She gave an uncharacteristic yelp and disappeared into the cave behind the waterfall. She came out dressed in her usual attire, with a light blush on her cheeks. Naruto was about to apologize to her when he saw a bandage coming out loose on her dress and if left on its own, it could unravel her whole robe. "Um, Kurenai-sensei, you have a loose bandage there."

"W-what?" Kurenai tilted her head cutely in confusion.

Naruto pointed at the bandage but when it was obvious she was unable to spot it, he walked over to her. Before she could protest, he moved behind her and caught the two split ends of the bandage and tied them tightly.

"There, now it's good," Naruto nodded in satisfaction at his handiwork. He was about to move his hands away when his fingers touched her silky strands of hair. He took a deep breath, drawing in her intoxicating scent before shaking his head to get out of the stupor. It wouldn't do to act like a creep before he could even hit on her.

"Th-thank you, Naruto," Kurenai said stoically. "But you didn't answer what you were doing here."

"Oh, I was searching for you actually," Naruto admitted as he rubbed the back of his head. "Baa-chan, I mean the Hokage, wants you to test my resistance to genjutsu."

"Why?" Kurenai tilted her head and Naruto had to restrain himself from jumping her bones at the sheer sexiness of that pose.

"She wants to make me a chunin but the council needs the word of a Jonin," Naruto explained with a shrug. He had no idea how things were done in Konoha. When he became Hokage, he'd make sure that the Hokage had veto power; this council business always gave him a headache.

"Hmm...I need to meet my team now. After that, I am free for the task," Kurenai started walking before looking back at Naruto. "You can come if you want. Those three would love to see you again, especially Hinata."

"Especially Hinata?" Naruto raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"It's not my place to say, Naruto," Kurenai replied apologetically.

"If you're talking about her little crush on me, I already know about it," Naruto said as he walked beside her. "But I thought she'd get over it by the time I came back."

"It's not just a little crush, Naruto," Kurenai admonished as she glanced at him. "Hinata would give up her life for you."

"Then that's even worse," Naruto sighed in exhaustion. "Hinata...she has this image of me in her mind but that's not me, Kurenai-sensei. The old me could have fallen in love with her someday but as I am right now, she's the worst person I can be in a relationship with."

"What do you mean?" Kurenai narrowed her eyes at him. He knew that it'd be tough for her to understand, as she always had Hinata's best interests at heart.

"If I act like usually do with her, she'll probably die of blood loss or brain aneurysm or both," Naruto stated in a grave tone. If she fainted just from being in his presence, then he feared to imagine what would happen if he started flirting with her.

Kurenai gave him a weird look before hitting him on the head. "This is not a joking matter, Naruto."

Naruto huffed in annoyance. "I am not joking!"

* * *

The three members of Team 8 were sitting under a tree, talking, and for some reason, Kiba's sister was with them. They stood up in surprise when they saw Naruto coming along with their sensei. The three came running, followed by Hana, with varying expressions on her face. Hinata's face was already steaming from staring at Naruto in his new attire. His crimson red shirt hugged his muscles and his blond hair fell down on his forehead due to the lack of a forehead protector, making him look quite handsome.

"Naruto! It's so good to see you, man," Kiba, the ever boisterous one, greeted with a large grin. He looked up and down at Naruto frame and frown appeared on his face. "But what's with the new look?"

"Well, it's really tough to peep on women wearing bright orange," Naruto answered truthfully. "And some girls complained that it was hard on their eyes when having sex."

The whole clearing went silent for a few moments until Kiba laughed uproariously. "Woah, man. You're still damn funny."

"I am not joking," Naruto said for what must be the third time that day.

Kiba paid no mind to his words. "So what are you doing here?"

Naruto went with the theme. "I heard your teacher is really sexy, so I came to check her out."

Kurenai hit Naruto on the head again with a scowl on her face but Kiba kept laughing. "You're a riot, Naruto."

Naruto shook his head in amusement. "Nobody believes in the truth anymore, eh, Hinata?"

Naruto's handsome smile was the last straw for Hinata, who fainted and fell down into Shino's waiting arms. "Forgive her, Naruto-san," Shino apologized.

Naruto waved off the apology but shared a look with Kurenai, who could only face-palm at the behavior of her student. Kiba and Shino gave him a nod before moving away with a still unconscious Hinata in their arms, leaving Naruto with Hana and Kurenai. Hana, who had no compunctions against chatting about personal matters in public, turned to Kurenai. "Do you remember that girl Natsumi I told you about, Nai-chan?"

"Yeah, you were searching for her, right?" Kurenai asked in curiosity.

"I am," Hana answered dejectedly. "I searched all over Konoha for her but couldn't find her."

"I don't understand why you're so hell bent on finding her," Kurenai rolled her eyes at the look of longing in Hana's eyes.

"She had magic touch, Nai-chan," Hana retorted passionately. "For a fourteen year old, that girl can give an excellent back rub."

"You mean the girl with blond hair and blue eyes?" Naruto asked involuntarily, only to wince when he realized that he shot himself in the foot again.

"Yeah!" Hana appeared before him in a flash, making him wonder how desperate she was for a single back rub. "You know her?"

"Never seen her in my life," Naruto lied like a pro and Hana hung her head in disappointment.

Hana's head shot up suddenly and she started sniffing the air. "Wait, I smell Natsumi-chan!"

Naruto was sweating bullets as Hana sniffed him and nearly had a heart attack when a triumphant gleam entered her eyes. "Hey! You smell exactly like Natsumi!"

"But how can it be?" Hana started muttering to herself. "Are you sure you're not her long lost brother or something?"

Naruto deadpanned. "Yeah, that must be it," he said sarcastically. But he knew he had to change the topic before he got caught. "So, you're Kiba's sister?"

"Yeah, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself," Hana gave him a lovely smile. "I am Hana Inuzuka. Kiba must've mentioned me before."

"If he did, I'm sure I'd have remembered that he had such a beautiful sister," Naruto smiled charmingly, eliciting a blush out of Hana.

"You're good, kid," Hana chuckled in good humor. "But sorry. I am not interested in a relationship right now."

With that, she said her goodbyes to Team 8 before walking away from the training ground. Just before she could walk out of sight, she turned to him and gave him a flying kiss and a wink. Naruto put a hand on his heart, with a look of desire in his eyes. "Flirty, confident and no interest in a relationship? Sounds exactly like my kind of girl."

"What?" Kurenai wondered if she heard him right.

"Nothing!" Naruto yelled like a deer caught in headlights. "Just thinking about what Ramen I should eat for lunch."

Kurenai gave him another weird look. "I'll meet you at the Hokage's office in about an hour, Naruto. You are free to stay here if you want."

"I don't want to be a bother," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "See ya, Kurenai-sensei!"

He disappeared before she could even open her mouth. Kurenai looked at the spot he previously stood at. "He's definitely an interesting boy."

* * *

Naruto appeared outside the Hokage's office and silently entered through the door. Tsunade was no where to be seen but Shizune was standing by the desk, shuffling some papers. Naruto crept up to her and hugged her waist from behind. Shizune went stiff as a board as he whispered in her year. "Hello, Shizune-chan."

"N-Naruto-kun..." Shizune gasped as he slipped a hand under her robe and tickled her stomach with his fingers. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I was bored," Naruto answered simply as touched his lips to her smooth neck. "And like I said...I am making it up to you."

Shizune started taking heavy breaths as his fingers trailed up her stomach and rested beneath her apple sized breasts. "S-stop. We're in the Hokage's office."

"Don't tell me you've never wanted to do it on the table here," Naruto commented as he traced the underside of her breast, eliciting a low moan out of her.

"N-no," Shizune replied shakily.

"Liar," Naruto whispered in her ear as he bit her earlobe.

Shizune's knees went weak as he started pressing her breasts. She was about to lose herself in a haze of pleasure when she felt his erection poke her backside. With a start, she came to her senses and caught his hand in hers to stop him from playing with her breasts. "Enough, Naruto."

Naruto reluctantly removed his hand from her robe and Shizune turned to face him with a stern expression on her face. But her cheeks were still a little flushed from their previous activities and her lips were parted in desire. Naruto couldn't stop himself. He placed his lips on hers and wrapped his arms around her hips.

Shizune's hands went up to his neck and she started kissing him back. Her hands bunched up in his hair and she started caressing his scalp with her fingers. She made little noises of protest as he deepened the kiss and licked her lips with his tongue. She hesitated for a moment before parting her lips and allowing entrance to his tongue.

He explored the inside of her mouth, tasting green sencha tea leaves and sugar buns. He enveloped her tongue with his and they tangled in an intricate dance. He ended the kiss once he finished exploring and slowly began kissing down her neck. She removed the hold on his hair and started unbuttoning his shirt. He slipped his hands into her robe and parted it open roughly, making her moan in protest again.

He silenced her with another kiss and started massaging her soft, perky breasts in his hands. She ran her hands all over his muscled torso and stroked his abs. Naruto swept away all the useless trinkets and paperwork on the table and pushed her onto it. He climbed on top of her and straddled her hips before kissing her on the mouth again. She slipped her hand into the waistband of his pants and just as she was about to wrap her dainty hand around his erection, the door opened with a bang.

Standing there, gawking in open-mouthed shock were Tsunade, Kurenai. Everything stayed still as the two powerful Kunoichi wrapped their minds around the fact that they found Naruto and Shizune in such a compromising position. Naruto calmly got down from the table and buttoned up his shirt while Shizune righted her black robe.

"Kurenai-sensei...you are early," Naruto remarked awkwardly.

"Couldn't keep it in your pants til you won the bet, huh?" Tsunade comment casually, resulting in Naruto rolling his eyes and Shizune burning up in mortification.

"You're just jealous it's not you I am doing on the desk," Naruto said mockingly as he ruffled his hair from its untidy state.

"I am going to kill you."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I had more to add to this chapter but it's late into the night and I don't want mediocre writing. So I ended it here. But don't worry. The chapter will be updated tomorrow. Am I the god of generosity or what?**

 **Don't forget to Review!**


	3. Subtle Control

**Author's Note: The 'Truth is a Joke' remains as the second chapter. I don't want to bring back the old one again and confuse you readers. But I'll include the favorable elements in either chapter in the following updates. Thank You.**

 **I know no one cares but I do not own Naruto. Is this disclaimer really necessary?**

* * *

What's seen cannot be unseen. It should be the official motto of Naruto's life.

He loved it when he encountered beautiful girls in the hot springs and the image of their naked body forever remained embedded in his mind. It couldn't be unseen and god, wasn't he grateful for that. But when people walk into him having sex with a woman, they couldn't seem to remove that image from their minds.

Of course, his was a passion that was memorable and desirable but it didn't help that Kurenai would always think of him as the boy she walked into while he was having sex with another woman. Same was the issue with Yugao.

And he'd be damned if couldn't tap that ass for such a simple reason.

Kurenai, Tsunade, and Shizune were still blushing like school girls by the time they reached the training grounds and Shizune couldn't even meet his gaze. He didn't know sex was such a taboo for medics. And he had some really good nurse and patient role-plays in his mind too. Such a waste.

"So, Naruto," Tsunade cleared her throat to remove any sings of embarrassment from her tone. "You have to perform at least one C-rank genjutsu and resist at least one A-rank genjutsu."

"Child's play," Naruto was looking quite bored as he stood opposite Kurenai.

Tsunade rolled her eyes at his nonchalance. "Okay, brat. You can start anytime you want to."

Kurenai watched as he made the hand signs for one of her favorite B-ranked genjutsu techniques but there was something different about the way he was molding his chakra. Normally, a ninja would release a thin stream of chakra into the surroundings and the enemy's body to alter the perception. But Naruto was blanketing the whole area with his chakra, creating something like a dome around them.

It made sense since he had so much chakra that it's impossible for him to mold his chakra into such a thin stream but she didn't understand what he was trying to achieve by creating a dome of all things.

" **Jubaku Satsu – Tree binding death."**

As expected, he disappeared from their view and Kurenai was already anticipating a tree sprouting at her feet and binding her. But peculiarly, that didn't happen. Thick vines started rising out of the ground and there were hundreds of them. All she could see around her were green vines creeping on the ground and heading towards the three kunoichi.

They wrapped around her arms and legs, binding her like ropes but it didn't stop at that. The vines slowly slithered down her thighs and arms, tying up her ankles and wrists. She was thinking that it was really useful as binding technique when the vines started stroking her things and breasts. They wrapped themselves around her breasts and womanhood and coiled around them tightly. She released an inaudible moan when the vines started tightening almost painfully but in a distinctly erotic manner.

Only when did she feel her mind getting hazy and her womanhood getting wet did she finally come to her senses. This was a bondage technique! She blushed to the roots of her hair and immediately dispelled the technique with a sharp application of her chakra.

When the world around her became clear, she looked around to find Naruto standing behind Tsunade, with his chin on her shoulder and his eyes on her large breasts. Tsunade was experiencing the same genjutsu but the vines were numerous and coiled even tighter in her case. The vines that wrapped around her breasts made them pop out of her robe, making them seem even bigger and sexier. Naruto had to struggle to keep his eyes away from them. He wrapped her arms around her waist and Tsunade could only stare as the vines started stroking her womanhood.

"Wow, those are heavy," Naruto breathed hotly on her neck as he eyed her breasts.

Tsunade had never blushed harder in her life. Her face was a dark crimson, in a mix of embarrassment, arousal and rage. With a liberal application of her chakra, she dispelled the technique and rounded on Naruto.

"Y-you...You pervert!" Tsunade raised a fist and punched him.

Naruto escaped at the last moment with an extremely fast shunshin and gaped in shock as the earth splintered and shook from her punch. Hail of rocks rained down from the sky and trees fell from the power of her punch. "What the hell, you old hag! Are you trying to kill me?"

"Yes!" Tsunade shouted as she ran at him with another punch.

Naruto shunshin'ed from one position to other, escaping her punches at the last moment. The training ground resembled a battle arena after a minute and Tsunade was breathing heavily in arousal and exertion. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief at not being punched to death but jerked in surprise when a kunai was placed on his neck.

"You better explain yourself, Naruto," Kurenai said with a violent glint in her eye. "That was a...deplorable technique."

"Efficient, you mean?" Naruto smirked but Kurenai pressed the kunai a little harder. "Hey, come on! Did you see how long it took you to break that technique? If I used that on an enemy kunoichi, I could've killed her before she even knew!"

Kurenai could accept the truth in his words. But it didn't mean that she was okay with the blatant violation of her body, even if it was all in her mind. "So you invented this technique with Kunoichi in mind?"

Naruto knew he had to answer carefully. "No! Just imagine what would've happened if the vines wrapped around your neck instead of your...breasts. You can choke someone with it. It's effective on all ninja."

Kurenai thought for a moment before removing the kunai. They were all ninja and in their profession, anything was within limits if you could win. After all, Kunoichi were trained in seduction mission from the moment they were in the academy. But this technique was...dangerous. Not surprising that it's been invented by Konoha's most unpredictable ninja and inventor of the 'Oiroke No jutsu – Sexy technique.'

"Ok, for what it's worth," Naruto turned to face Tsunade and Kurenai. "I'm sorry."

Tsunade huffed, with a light blush on her cheeks and Kurenai nodded sternly. Shizune was looking around in confusion at the tense atmosphere, not knowing what happened as Naruto didn't cast the genjutsu on her. Naruto, who noticed her confusion, walked over to her and placed a hand on her cheek. Shizune involuntarily leaned into his hand and blushed a pretty shade of pink when she noticed this.

"Don't worry," Naruto whispered in her ear. "I'll show you what I showed them...in private."

Tsunade's eye twitched as she observed their little conversation. "I am going to hurt you if you try anything like this on her, brat."

"In case you forgot…not that I blame you for forgetting in your old age," Naruto had to chuckle as she visibly restrained herself from hitting him. "I won our little bet."

"It's easily a B-ranked genjutsu, Tsunade-sama," Kurenai admitted, with a hint of praise in her tone.

"Whatever," Tsunade grumbled. "Let's test a few A-rank genjutsu on him and be done with it."

Kurenai nodded and started making hand signs. **"Nehan Shoja no Jutsu – Temple of Nirvana Technique."**

White feathers started dropping from the sky, imbuing him with sleep and drowsiness. This must be technique that Kabuto used during the invasion, Naruto thought as his eyelids started drooping in exhaustion. He stood still, drawing a silver of nature chakra and the disturbance caused by the entry of new chakra easily dispelled the genjutsu. "You should know I don't fall to the same trick twice, Kurenai-sensei."

Kurenai frowned as he escaped the genjutsu without much effort. She didn't even notice him molding any chakra to dispel or instilling pain upon himself. But she assumed that since he already experienced this genjutsu once, it must be easy for him to notice its effects.

With a resolute nod, she prepared another genjutsu. " **Magen: Haitai Chihyou no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Decaying Earth Technique)"**

The ground under him collapsed and stormy winds started blowing in the clearing. The earth was like quicksand, sucking him into it. Skeletons and decayed corpses started appearing out of the trees and all of them were people he knew. He saw Haku, with his skin getting peeled off his face and Zabuza with blood dripping from his mouth. Sasuke was burning in black flames while the third Hokage was getting his soul eaten by the Shinigami. He could see all his friends dying around him and Orochimaru holding the corpses of Jiraiya and Tsunade in either hands. He couldn't even move to help them as they were murdered around him.

It really was a terrifying technique and the Naruto of three years ago would already be trashing and crying as he watched his precious people die. But he was not that boy, not even close. The moment the nature chakra in the trees touched his skin, the genjutsu shattered like a fragile piece of glass and the clearing returned to normal again.

"You've got to try harder, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto taunted as he comfortably stood in the same place he was standing at for the past few minutes.

Now, Kurenai's frown was really pronounced. She expected that at least one of her A-rank techniques would ruffle him but he was looking no worse for wear. And she couldn't even understand how we dispelling the genjutsu! From what she heard, he used to fall for even D-rank illusions but did he actually get so much stronger in a few years...or did she get weaker?

She focused herself and made the hand signs for one of her best genjutsu. It was invented by the late second Hokage and it took her a year to perfect. **"Kokuangyo no Jutsu (Bringer of Darkness Technique)"**

Naruto, knowing that she'd prepare a powerful genjutsu, started drawing in Nature chakra before she even cast the illusion. The moment she finished casting the genjutsu, he released the nature chakra from his body, effectively dispelling the darkness around him. He heard that this technique immerses the opponent in complete darkness and plays with the mind to effectively break the nervous system. He had no intentions of getting caught in that justu.

Kurenai gaped in open-mouthed surprise as he shrugged off her genjutsu like it was child's play. What was happening to her? She was the foremost genjutsu user in Konoha, a prodigy in the illusion arts. And now a genin could break one of her best techniques?

"Powerful genjutsu don't work on me, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto remarked as he observed the bafflement on her face. "The more vivid you make the illusion, the easier it is for me to break it. For it to be effective, the genjutsu should be precise, undetectable and most importantly, unexpected. It should be like a needle you know...I shouldn't even know when it pierced my skin. If can't detect it, I can't break it."

The three kunoichi stared at him like he grew a second head. When did he get so knowledgeable about ninja techniques, much less, genjutsu? Naruto noticed their perplexed stares and flushed in awkwardness. He rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I get passionate when talking about these things."

Passionate, huh? The word rung in Kurenai's ears and bounced around in her head. She was passionate about her art once and at some point, she got complacent; Believing that being the best genjutsu user and a Jonin was enough. But she forgot that there were ninja in the elemental nations who were much more powerful than her, even in the field of genjutsu.

Itachi Uchiha's name came to her mind. How easily did he defeat her three years ago? And how much had she improved since then? Itachi would still be striving to make himself better and here she was, taking a back seat when ninja younger than her were surpassing her.

"...sensei? ….Kurenai-sensei?" She blinked out of her stupor to see Naruto waving a hand in front of her. "You alright?"

'Not really,' was her first thought. 'I just realized how stupid I was.'

"Yes," she lied. "I was just thinking."

"Ah, it's fine," Naruto waved her off. "So, any more techniques you want to try on me?"

"No, you are good," Kurenai smiled. "But I won't say no if you want to be my target practice sometime."

She definitely had to get priorities straight if she had any hopes of being the best ninja at Genjutsu there ever was.

'More time with a smoking hot chick like you?' Naruto giggled perversely in his mind. "Count me in."

Tsunade and Shizune walked over to them, with Tsunade still looking like she was a hair's breadth away from decking him in the face. "So, I guess you are a chunin now."

"It won't be long before I'll be taking that hat from you," Naruto smirked as he crossed his hands behind his head.

Tsunade smiled, happy that despite the way he acted, his heart was in the right place. He wanted to become Hokage to protect the people of the village…

"...And when I do, I'll make shorts and sports bra as the official uniform for every kunoichi," Naruto had blood dripping from his nose as he imagined of all the things he could when he was the Hokage. Not to mention all the sexy female ANBU under his command…

'He's just a degenerate pervert,' Tsunade thought crossly as she gathered chakra into her fist. "You have one second to run."

"What?" Naruto frowned but his heart leaped into his throat when he saw the fist headed his way. He shunshin'ed faster than lightning to escape the fist and yelled back at the busty Hokage. "You can never catch me, Baa-chan!"

* * *

Naruto was walking down the Konoha pavements, thinking about how he should celebrate his promotion. A visit to the Hot Springs was not special anymore and he couldn't run all the way back to Kumo to spend a whole day in bed with Mabui-chan. He gave a glance at the Inuzuka compounds as he passed them by and suddenly, a thought struck his mind.

Perversion was a daring art. You never know when calamity strikes you and you had find a way to come out on top; Especially because females were such fickle beings. One must have the courage to weather the storm and conquer fear to be a connoisseur of female beauty.

And if there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki had in spades, then it was courage.

Using his stealth skills that were honed since his childhood by pranking people, he intruded into the Inuzuka compound and made his way to Kiba's house. He slowly crept up the wall and looked into each room to find the person he was searching for. But to his surprise, no one was in the house. He was about to give up when he saw female clothes lying on the bed in the right-most room on the first floor.

He opened the window and landed in the room silently. He looked around for any sign of Hana but a wide smile formed on his face when he heard the shower running. He started filling up the bathroom with his chakra and activated one of the few genjutsu he knew. He actually was passionate about the illusion arts despite his ability to cast most of them. So he found a unique method that could only work for chakra monsters like him. By filling up an area with chakra, he could effect the area the way he wanted by manipulating his chakra.

He made himself invisible to her eyes and slowly edged behind Hana. He took in her sweet aroma and ran his eyes down her back. He erection hardened in his pants when his eyes landed on her pert ass and he had restrain himself from squeezing it. He lifted a hand into the air and placed it on the small of her back.

Hana jumped in fright but he slid a hand around her waist and held her in place. "W-who are you?"

"Don't tell me you already forgot about me, _Onee-chan,_ " Naruto whispered as he started massaging her back. Hana started moaning out loud as he started gliding his calloused hands over her milky skin and pressed his digits against the sore muscles in her back.

Hana would usually fighting tooth and nail against any intruder but she could remember the feel of the hands on her body. She was craving this touch since the moment the blond-haired blue-eyed girl ran away from her that day.

"N-Natsumi?" Hana mumbled but any doubts about Naruto being a girl vanished from her mind when her back hit his firm chest and her ass fell on his stiff erection.

Naruto moved his hand from her waist to her breast while the other hand started kneading her her lean waist. "Try a little harder."

At the word 'harder', he took a hard, pink nipple between his index and middle fingers and pinched it hard. Hana screamed in pleasure and fell limply on his chest. She took a deep whiff of his scent and recognition entered her eyes. "Naruto?"

"Excellent," Naruto said as he pushed her onto the bathroom wall and started kissing her neck from behind. His hands slithered down her wet frame to land on her ass and he kneaded them in his palms. Hana started making little mewls of pleasure as he started scraping his teeth on her shoulders.

He held her hips in his hands and turned her around before pressing his lips against the bite marks on her shoulders. He started kissing his way up her neck and just as he was about to kiss her on the lips, she pushed him away roughly.

"I can't do this, Naruto," Hana stated firmly as she turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around her body.

His wet clothes stuck to his muscled frame, and the definition of his chest and abs was imprinted on his shirt. Hana's eyes lingered on his lean torso and the stiff erection bulging in his pants before she averted her eyes with a flush on her cheeks. Naruto meanwhile was frowning in puzzlement. "What? Why?"

"I said I don't want any relationship right now," Hana repeated as she glared at him. "I run a veterinary and I am preparing for Jonin exams. I don't have time to fool around with a boyfriend in the village."

"And you think I want a girlfriend?" Naruto rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I have S-ranked criminal after me. I don't want to put any girl's life at risk."

"T-then what's this?" she said hotly as she gestured at him.

Naruto took a deep breath before deflating like a hot air balloon. "...I am addicted to sex."

Hana blinked. "...what?"

"You know how animals go to heat once in a month?" Naruto said and Hana nodded in reply. "It's the same case with me...but I'm in heat every day of every month."

Hana gulped at the thought. "You mean...you have to do it everyday?"

"Hmm, something like that," Naruto answered. "I can control it for at most a week but more than that..."

Living with animals as companions, Hana knew what he was trying to imply. He might force himself on any girl around him. "So, you don't want a relationship...just..." She paused her words with an intense blush.

"Just steamy hot sex," Naruto completed her sentence with an amused smile.

Hana stared at her feet, with dirty thoughts running all over her mind. "I...I need some time to think about this."

"Sure," Naruto sighed.

Hana glanced at him, staring at his handsome face and the way his long, wet blond hair stuck to his face. He stopped wearing his forehead protector these days for some reason and his bangs fell down to his eyes, giving him a princely look. He lean body was packed with powerful muscles built for speed and his torso looked like it was cut from stone. He was definitely one of the hottest ninja in Konoha right now.

Naruto looked up in surprise as Hana started tiptoeing towards him sexily. "How about a simple kiss for now?"

"Hmm, I don't see us having sex now anyway," Naruto stated as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "With my rotten luck, your mom might walk in on us before I can even undress you."

"Don't worry," Hana said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Mom and Kiba are out to buy supplies for our clan. They won't be coming back for another hour."

"Lucky me," Naruto captured her lips with his and deepened the kiss when she pressed her towel-clad body against his.

He led her out of the bathroom, kissing her all the way and slipped a hand into her towel when they reached the foot of her bed. Hana mumbled in protest against his kiss when his hand slipped down to her thighs but moaned in his mouth when he ran a finger down the inside of her thigh.

Suddenly, the door clicked open and Naruto sighed against her lips. He broke the kiss and mumbled without looking back. "It's your mother, isn't it?"

Hana nodded jerkily, fearing the wrath of her mother and stepped away from him. Naruto gathered up some courage and turned to face Tsume with a smile on his face. Sadly, his smile did nothing to abate her glare.

"Tsume-san! Did I tell you that you have a beautiful daughter?" If Tsume was glaring before, she was shooting fireballs with her eyes now. "I'll show myself out."

With that he disappeared just as he arrived; Through the window.

Kiba appeared a few minutes later to talk to his sister but paused when he sniffed the air. "Hey! Why does this room smell like Naruto?"

* * *

It was already evening by the time Naruto escaped the wrath of Tsume and he could be found jumping over the roof tops of Konoha. After a few minutes of roaming around aimlessly, he decided that he might as well meet Tsunade and talk about the state of Team 7. If he was lucky, he could even arrange some plans with Shizune for the night.

He found Tsunade sitting at her desk, looking bored out her mind. He tried to stalk over to her but her voice made him pause in his steps. "You are a decade too young to sneak up on me, brat."

"Want to make that a bet?" Naruto commented as he sat down in his usual chair. "I might sneak upon you when your are changing or when you are taking a bath...or even when you are pleasuring yourself."

"I don't pleasure myself," Tsunade grit out as she glared at him.

"Want my help, then?" Naruto wiggled his fingers deftly. "I'm really good with my fingers."

"You are worse than Jiraiya ever was, you know that?" Tsunade said as she rubbed her temples to alleviate the headache the brat was giving her.

"I aim to surpass the master, Baa-chan," Naruto said as he leaned back in his chair. "But that's not what I'm here for. What's going to happen to Team 7?"

"I am thinking of keeping it the same," Tsunade answered with a sigh. "But I have my hands tied in this matter. The elders are already cross with me for sending you on the training trip, so now they decide who gets to be on Team 7."

Danzo, then, Naruto thought in his mind. He was hearing the old coot's name a lot these days in spy circles; The darkness of shinobi, or whatever moniker they gave him. He figured that being on team 7 would give him a lot of leeway, what with a lazy teacher and uncaring teammate but it seems that Danzo had other ideas.

It might be tough to maintain and run his own plans when he had a spy looking over his shoulder at all times. If Danzo decided to take matters into his own hands, then Naruto might just have to do the same.

* * *

 **Author's Note: It's sad that Fanfiction is blocked in Indonesia and Malaysia. I see a lot of readers and writers from their countries. Anybody Indonesian and Malaysian here using VPN to access the site?**

 **On the other hand, I'll be updating 'You're doing it wrong, Kaa-chan' tomorrow.**

 **Don't Forget to Review.**


	4. Interlude: The Night After Day

**Interlude: The Night After Day.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

Tiredness was a foreign thought to Naruto. Boredom was common and laziness was one of his favored traits but being tired was rare if not nonexistent.

So it came as a surprise when he just wanted to lay down that night, without jumping around like a volleyball for once. It shouldn't have been, considering all the things that happened that day. It started with him getting caught mid-act by his favorite ANBU and ended with him as a newly instated Chunin of Konoha.

But since he promised Ami that he'd visit her that night – and he never broke a promise, even if it's a minor one – he took a detour and shunshin'ed over to her house. It was late at night and the only souls roaming around were ANBU. Pitch-black darkness enveloped the village hidden in the leaves and the noise of the crickets was the only sound heard in the vicinity.

Ami's family was rich and they flaunted it everywhere they went. Her house, a cottage with a massive garden and clear-water ponds surrounding it, stuck to the theme of extravagance. He jumped over the fence and prowled over to the nearest window. He peered into her home to find the lights off and the halls filled with silence.

It didn't take long to find her room and luckily, the door was left open. He didn't want to scare her half to death by breaking down the door; That'd definitely kill the mood. Since the foreplay was done and dusted that morning, he removed his shirt as he entered the room and unbuttoned his pants by the time he reached her bed. He could spot a wave of purple hair on the pillow but the rest of her body was hid under the blankets. But there was no mistaking the slight curve of her breasts and her shapely hips.

With a sense of awareness he didn't expect from her, she shot up as he touched her arm and he had to seal her lips with his to keep her from screaming. "Shhh….it's me!"

Due to the darkness, he couldn't see what her expression was – he could hardly recognize her, what with her burrowed deep into the blankets and her hair covering her face – but her eyes slowly focused on him and she calmed down. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and slipped a hand into the blankets.

Her skin was a bit smoother and her breasts felt bigger than they were that morning, but every sane thought left his mind when she pulled him onto her and slammed her lips onto his again. She deepened the kiss without his prodding and her dainty fingers dug into the waistband of his underwear.

"Woah, you're enthusiastic tonight," Naruto remarked and she answered by wrapping her fingers around his stiff erection. Naruto bit back a moan and brought his hands to her waist. He pushed her onto the bed and tore off her bra in a single motion. "But I like to be in control."

From the sounds she made all night long, she surely liked it when he took control.

* * *

Morning arrived a little too fast for Naruto, who felt sore all over and his pelvis must've wrestled with the Hokage mountain. He didn't expect Ami of all people to be so aggressive. Being a stamina freak, women could hardly keep up with him but she had managed until the early hours of morning. He could count the number of women who could do that with a single hand, and still have a finger left.

He let out a soft groan and tried to stretch but something held his arm in a vice grip. He opened his bleary eyes and immediately closed them when the day light almost burned his irises. His head seemed to be in the clouds with how soft his pillow was. These rich people sure know how to enjoy their luxury. He pushed his head deeper into the pillow and a moan echoed in the room.

Naruto's eyes shot open. He looked around frantically and his heart slowed down a little when mussed up purple hair greeted his eyes. His eyes traveled down to her face and his heart stopped for a moment. The woman had a feminine face that only a few in this village could rival and her button nose was as cute as they come. She had ivory skin, with not a hint of blemish on her face. Her lush, kissable red lips were partly open and slightly bruised from their nightly activities. Hers was a beauty that made you fear if your touch would defile it.

And he had never seen the woman in his life.

He tried not to disturb her but his libido had other thoughts. The sight of her naked body glowing under the sunlight was enough for his manhood to rise like the morning sun and become as hard as iron. Only when she moaned again in discomfort did he realize that his cock was still buried deep into her folds. That explained that heavenly softness that enveloped his erection.

She opened her eyes to stare at him with a mock glare. "I'm still sore."

She had vivid hazel eyes that could make anyone lose themselves in their golden depths. Naruto stayed frozen, his mind running a mile a minute as it tried to grasp the current situation. He was already expecting a kunai to the throat, after all, he knew from personal experience that waking up next to a stranger was not the most pleasant feeling in the world. That fact that she was so calm made alarm bells ring in his brain.

A few minutes later – during the time which he was silent as a stone as he waited for the inevitable meltdown – she sat up on the bed and stretched like a cat; Albeit a cat that was human and was irresistibly sexy. Her large breasts jiggled erotically and he cursed himself again. How on earth did he mistake this goddess for Ami? Ami was a B-cup at best.

Of course, it could have been the case that he knew it wasn't Ami but went along because he got sex. That was definitely something he'd do.

She came after what felt like a decade later, with an immodest towel wrapped around voluptuous frame. Her wet, purple hair clung to her cheeks and as his eyes traveled down her neck, he found something unusual. Marring her skin like craters on the moon were dozens of hickeys. He was cock-blocked twice that day and it must be the frustration leaking out.

She noticed his gaze and a smirk adorned her face. "You were _rough_ last night," she purred as she traced the hickeys.

Something about the look in her eyes made a shiver travel down his spine. "Um…sorry?"

She gave a musical giggle. "Freshen up and meet me in the kitchen."

* * *

Naruto sat at the dinner table, staring at the cup of tea placed in front of him. He could hear bustling, as someone frantically moved about the house and a series of footsteps later, he saw Ami entering the kitchen. She must've been distracted as it took her a few moments to even notice his presence. And when she did, she gasped in fright and held her hand to her chest. "Naruto!"

Naruto gave a weak wave of his hand. She rushed over to him and took a seat in the adjacent chair. "You didn't come last night," she complained.

"Had work to do," Naruto shrugged in apology. "Barely slept last night."

She nodded in understanding before glancing at the cup in front of him. "Oh, you've met my sister?"

"Yeah," Naruto said with a blank face. What a meeting that was. "You never told me you had a sister."

So many problems could've been avoided if she had. Though she couldn't be blamed. He had a knack for meeting unexpected people in unexpected situations.

"Yesterday was the first time we've ever talked," Ami deadpanned. "She's ANBU, so she doesn't stay here a lot. She returned only a few days ago."

That explained why he had never seen her. Naruto nodded slowly, savoring the taste of the tea while trying his best to look nonchalant. Ami got bored of his silence after a little while and walked into the kitchen to fetch something for herself. The second Ami disappeared into the kitchen, her sister strolled into the dining area with a sway to her hips; the minx.

"I take it you were here to meet my sister last night," she commented casually.

Naruto started sweating bullets. He feared her reaction when he knew nothing about her but now that he knew she was ANBU, he was terrified. One word to Tsunade and he'd be in Iwa before he could say, 'sorry'.

"That was my mistake," Naruto admitted with a sheepish laugh. "Believe me, I don't break into random people's rooms every night."

Though it was definitely becoming a pattern, even if he didn't want it to.

She gave a non-committal hum and Naruto did his best not to fidget. What was running through her mind? Murder, castration, torture… he was prepared for anything but what he didn't expect for her to say was, "I liked it."

Naruto blinked in surprise, not quite believing what he had just heard. Of course she had liked it, that was obvious from all the cute noises she was making last night but he was more worried about the repercussions that he would have to face once she realized that what had happened was not planned, to say the least. "I'm sorry?"

She continued like she didn't hear what he said. "Let's include my sister too the next time."

What's happening with the world? Was he still asleep and this was one of his perverse dreams? Or was he stuck in some elaborate genjutsu? "W-w-what?"

Apparently, she liked ignoring other people, or talking to herself. "If you can convince her that is."

Finally, she shifted her gaze to Naruto, who did his best impression of a fish out of water. Her golden eyed stare was more than what he could handle and he averted his gaze with a fake cough. She stood up without waiting for his reply and walked away, but not before giving him a seductive glance.

Naruto didn't perceive when Ami had entered the scene but when his rebooted again, she was sitting beside him. She was rambling something, not caring whether he was listening or not; Talking to themselves must be a common trait in their family.

"Do you like your sister?" Naruto started tentatively.

Ami gave him a confused look, probably wondering where this question came from. "Not when she acts like a bitch. But I do."

Naruto gave a chuckle; That was a very Ami-like answer. "How much do you like her?"

"What do you mean?" She thought of entertaining him for a while but this was getting downright weird.

"You know… like enough to fight with my parents for her, enough to sacrifice myself for her...enough to have a threesome with her, something like that."

It took her few moments to grasp what he said and when she did, she reacted in a way her sister should've when she woke up next to a stranger. Her face went crimson, with anger or embarrassment and her hands shook as she emptied her tea cup on his face. "Pervert!"

Accepting it as a failure, Naruto bolted out of the house before Ami could unleash her feminine wrath on him. He saw Ami's sister waiting outside the gates, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed across her chest and a knowing smirk on her face. "It went that bad, huh?"

"You knew this would happen," Naruto accused but without any bite in his tone. It was worth it and it wasn't like he was expecting to have a long term relationship with Ami; Sakura and Ino would murder him if he did.

"My sister is very possessive," she said as she walked alongside him down the road. It was just after dusk and only a few street vendors were out on the roads. The chill from the night still didn't leave the streets, blanketing the whole village in a thin sheet of fog. "Just like me. I'd hate to share a man, even with my beloved sister."

Naruto wiped the tea on his face with his sleeves and shook his head to rid his hair of the wetness. His long blond hair fell down to his eyes but he was too uncaring to swipe it aside. The look suited him, she thought as she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes.

"Entirely justified," Naruto admitted to her surprise. She felt that perverts like him usually salivated at the thought of huge harems. Feeling her stare, he explained further. "Though I'd like a harem as much as the next guy, it's illogical and, frankly, unreal. Women, especially kunoichi, aren't like that."

Her opinion of him went up a few notches. Maybe he wasn't as much of an irredeemable pervert as she thought. They remained silent as they strolled without aim until Naruto spoke up again. "Hey, sorry about last night. I-it...what I did was wrong, stupid...I was tired, didn't know what I was doing or...seeing and I fucked up. Not that fucked up of course, though that too happened...ah, I'm rambling aren't I?"

She laughed softly as she nodded. She didn't feel like a women of many words and most of her answers were precise and to the point. He reckoned it to be a common trait of the ANBU. She seemed to be distracted, constantly glancing at her stomach and lost in her own thought. He thought she was secretly planning to assassinate him before but her lighthearted laugh showed no ill intentions. It didn't take her long to voice her thoughts, "I hope I get pregnant."

Naruto stumbled on his own foot and smacked his face hard into the pavement. It was a shameful display as a ninja – who are thought to be surefooted – but no one could blame him in this situation. "W-w-wha..?"

She frowned at the incredulous expression on his face. "I said I want a baby."

"No!" Naruto declined instantly with a shout but wilted under glare. "No. Do you even know what a baby is?"

"I've seen them once or twice," she said sarcastically.

"Goddammit woman," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "We can't have a baby! I met you yesterday and I don't even know your name!"

"I'm Kuroka," she replied and ignored his shout of 'That's not what I meant!' "And who said 'we'? I can take care of the baby myself. There's no need for you to be involved."

He pushed her onto the adjacent wall and trapped her between his arms. He lost his smile and there was genuine anger burning in his irises. "You think I'm going to leave _my child?"_

Kuroka had to suppress a smile. He certainly had all the qualities she liked in a man. "Then don't."

Naruto visibly restrained himself from banging his head on the wall. Was everything so simple for this woman? "I'm _sixteen._ I am too young to be a father and Baa-chan will kill me if she knows I knocked up some girl."

"You're sixteen?" She blinked in surprise. "You don't look that young."

"Glad you're convinced."

"But I still want a baby."

Naruto face-palmed. "Didn't you hear a word of what I said?"

"I want the father of my child to be strong. _Really strong_ ," she emphasized with a determined look in her eyes. "And you're one of the strongest bachelors in Konoha, if not the strongest. We'll have cute and powerful kids."

That was a sound argument if he ever heard one. It was almost enough to convince anybody. _Almost._

"You know how hard it's for ANBU to raise a family?" Kuroka asked softly, after realizing that she tried all avenues. "Most of us never cross thirty. I don't want my family line to end with me."

"You have a sister," Naruto pointed out with a deadpan.

"It's Ami," Kuroka said as though it explained everything. Which it did.

"Good point," Naruto acquiesced.

"I just want to experience the joys of being a mother before I die," Her eyes met his for a moment. "Is that too much to ask for?"

Naruto sighed as his anger dissipated, leaving him exhausted. "But it's still not happening..."

She interrupted him with a chaste kiss on the lips while her body rested snugly in his. The simple gesture reminded him of the steamy night they spent but a few hours ago. His eyes closed of his own accord and he returned the kiss with fervor. After a minute that felt like an eternity, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead upon hers. He could hardly remember what they were even arguing about...something about sex?

"I-I..."

She pecked his lips again, not even giving him a chance to utter a word. It was peculiar...being so helpless when he was so used to taking control; But it wasn't unpleasant.

"I'll be seeing you," with that passing statement, she disappeared in that famous Shunshin of the ANBU.

It took a few moments for him to regain his bearings and when he did, he came to a terrifying realization that his troubles were only starting.

* * *

 **Author's Note: A small Interlude before I start updating my stories again.**

 **I'll probably be updating 'The Nine-Tailed Death God' by Wednesday.**

 **Don't forget to REVIEW!**


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